3 Month Accountable Kids Update

I have been meaning to do an update about the Accountable Kids program we are using.  It has been 3 months now and I am LOVING IT!!!

Two major reasons why I am so happy with it.  1)Kids are now sleeping through the night, and 2) Quiet Time!!!

I now have all three kids sleeping through the night.  How can a program do that you ask?  Well, let me explain.  In the program they have a privilege pass that can be earned.

 Each night Gorgeous would come out in the middle of the night at least 2 times and Adorable would be up 2 times as well.  I thought the privilege pass may solve Gorgeous coming out, I had no clue it would help Adorable.

So we told Handsome and Gorgeous that they had to stay in bed, expect for having to go potty (and we told them as parents we can tell when you REALLY need to use the bathroom or you are just faking it, since they are young this totally works :)  If they come out of their room before the morning when a light is on and Mom or dad are up they lose the privilege pass.  They also cannot wake up a sibling, if so they lose the privilege pass.

If they earn the privilege pass it is worth staying up an extra 15 min. later the next night, during this time they can play a game with mom or dad, read books, etc.

I was amazed at how well this worked.  The first night not only did Gorgeous stay in bed all night, but Adorable didn't wake up at all..... that's when I realized that when Gorgeous would go back into her room unhappy that she can't stay the night with us, she would wake up Adorable.  With her staying in bed all night Adorable didn't wake up and thus slept the entire night! 

Since the implementation of this about a month ago, I have been able to get a full night sleep most nights!!! I have felt so much better waking up and an now able to wake up early with Kent in the morning!


The second thing I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE is the implementation of Quiet Time.  I had heard many mothers talk about doing it and struggling with it.  When my kids potty trained (around 2 years old) they gave up naps, a price I happily paid for having a potty trained kid.  I really didn't think that quiet time would work for us.  I did not want to wrestle with a kid to stay in a room or to not talk, I knew I was not up for that type of battle, and I didn't want to set myself up for failure.

But in the Accountable Kids program they encourage you to introduce quiet time as a chore that has to be done.  So quiet time is a day time chore that has to be done, if a child talks, is loud, etc. he doesn't get to turn over the quiet time card, which means they do not earn a ticket for the day chores, and they will not get a star at the end of the day for doing all their chores (goes towards a date with mom or dad), and they will not earn any bonus bucks for work they had done. 

So I set up quiet time.  Handsome is in the toy room, Gorgeous is in the TV room, and Adorable is napping.  The kids can do any quiet activity that they would like; reading, coloring, play dough, Lego's, etc. they cannot talk to anyone, play with each other (because we know this will lead to noise) or make loud noises.

The first week I had to be in the middle of the two rooms and give quiet reminders.  After that it has worked like a charm.  And what do I do with my hour to myself?!  Enjoy every minute!!!! I now have an hour to read my scriptures, read my RS lesson manuals, the Ensign, or a good book.  I LOVE IT!!!  Sometimes I even get a nap myself.

Other great things have been happening.  The kids don't watch as much TV, to them it is not worth it, they use their tickets on things they want more than TV.   I feel my relationship is getting better with Gorgeous because of the dates we have gone on, I know she is loving the one-on-one time (Handsome has chosen to go with Dad each date).   We are doing Family Council most weeks.  And our family movie night has changed to family game night.  Since the kids didn't value the movies enough to save up the 3 tickets, after a month of not having movie night, we decided to make it a game night instead.  I am happy about this; more interaction and communication.

I have to say that it did take time to help the kids learn the system, but that extra effort was worth it.  After a month they knew exactly what was expected of them.  They now know the program and so do I, and it is now much easier then what I was doing before Accountable Kids.  Also, after about a month and a half the kids did "test" the system and I had to tweak things a little bit.  Thanks to the support from the Accountable Kids people, I wrote them an email about the struggle and they responded the next day, and the changes they suggested worked great.

Having learned about Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) in college and having ABA training at Northwest Behavior Associates, as well as being an ABA tutor for five plus years... I have had a lot of experience with ABA.  I love how they take the ABA theory, but also take it a step further acknowledging that children have the freedom to make choices, as well as helping to develop inward responsibility and self confidence, and strengthening family relationships.  It is a well thought out ABA system for the family to use.

I promise to continue to review the program and update you on how it is working in our family.

 But right now I have to say,

Thank you Accountable Kids!!!

Accountable Kids Update

So we are still doing the Accountable Kids program. 

 So far so good.  I am really liking this program.  Before I had the mentality that the kids had to ask for TV/Wii/ etc. privileges and if it was near the end of the day and they hadn't been in time out, etc.  they would get it.  But it would be taken away if acting out.  Now it has completely switched.  The kids don't have those extra privileges to LOSE.  Instead they have them to GAIN.  They can do their chores and earn tickets and them use them.  When we first started the kids would ask, as they had usually done in the past, "Can I ...." and before I would think in my mind, have they been in time out? have they been helpful or ornery?.  Now I answer, "YES!  Do you have (certain number of) tickets?"  And they would realize that they were the ones in control of earning their privileges.  I no longer get asked if they can have a privilege.  It has been wonderful!

 Also, I no longer have to encourage them each step of each task, for example getting ready for bed.  I leave them with the responsibility and let them experience the consequences.  And yes, sometimes they have had to miss out on things.

One example, each Friday is "family movie night" at our house.  But when I started the program an hour of movie cost 2 tickets.  I wondered if it was fair to charge for family movie night.  Then I remembered that if they were disobedient all day we would send them to bed without movie night.  So why would it be different.  They were still expected to help out around the house to "earn" movie night.  So we decided to charge 2 tickets to participate in family movie night.  Handsome chose to use his tickets earlier in the day for the Wii.  I reminded him of movie night, and made it very clear that he would have to work hard to get the 2 tickets before movie night (it was possible).  He made the decision to play the Wii.  Then nighttime came and he had failed to meat the deadline of day chores being done, and missed a ticket.  He couldn't participate.  He cried and cried, but the consequence was there, he made the choices he had to deal with the consequence.  It was nice, I was taken out of the equation, it wasn't me punishing him, he made choices and had to deal with the consequences.

On a scale of 1 to 5, I would give it a 4.5 (I am VERY picky and really never give a perfect score, because really is anything truly PERFECT?)

I'll write later about how we are using it and adaptations we made to help our young family.

Trying to Raise "Accountable Kids"

So I saw a booth at the Homeschool Convention I attended months ago about raising accountable kids.  It jumped out at me as I was struggling with what to do with chores, etc with our family.  I only had a few dollars to spend and decided to spend it on their book.  I didn't even have time to attend the class.  So I came home and the book sat and sat as life sped on.

Then I got sick, and found myself having to be still.  I picked up the book and started to read.  With each new chapter I would get excited.  I was reading all about the stuff I learned about in college about shaping behavior, including the perspective of agency and God.  It was exactly what my BYU college professor had suggested for raising kids.  I had to do a double check to make sure it wasn't my college professors book! (no it was not).

As I was sick and had so little energy and very little breath to talk, it was hard to encourage chores to be done and easy to give in to TV and movies.  It made me realize how much I needed this program.

So what is it?

It is called Accountable Kids.

In their own words it is...

"a unique parenting program designed to teach accountability and responsibility in the home. It is a back-to-basics system which includes essential parenting principles and concrete stepping stones that strengthen relationships and build a foundation for success.   Children learn to balance choices and consequences in a fun, productive manner. They experience the joy of being a vital, contributing member of the family and develop confidence and self-worth."

Basically, you are implementing this program into your family routine in 4 steps.  I love that it not only has chores and rewards, but it also has one-on-one dates with a parent, as well as Family Council, although they call it "Family Forum."  It even has a way for kids to earn money for extra chores, and teaching about managing money.  So to break it down, again in their words:

"Step One: Children learn to take care of personal responsibilities without constant direction. They learn work ethics, time management, and responsibility. Children earn Tickets by completing basic chores. Tickets can then be used for activities or privileges. Tickets provide parents the ability to discipline without losing control or physical contact. Basic values are encouraged and reinforced with the Best Behavior Card.

Step Two: The Privilege Pass is introduced to eliminate specific negative behaviors. This process empowers children to predict consequences, follow rules, and redirect themselves towards positive behaviors. A Special Date Card is added to allow children to work for future rewards and enhance parent/child relationships.

Step Three: Completing basic chores provides basic privileges, but not the extras. Children earn Bonus Bucks for completing extra chores. This gives them the ability to make decisions about purchases. They experience the advantages of saving and learn to manage resources for the future.

Step four: The Family Forum presents an opportunity to discuss goals, problems, challenges, and accomplishments. It provides an opportunity to monitor progress and encourage positive behaviors. Quiet Time is introduced to refresh and recharge children and parents. It encourages the use of imagination, self-discipline, and self-entertainment."

I got a progress board for Handsome and Gorgeous.  The program is for ages 4-14, so Gorgeous is a little young, and needs a little more guidance and reminders, but so far so good.

The program encourages that the kids be part of the decoration process of their board.  So we went to the craft shop and they picked out a color to paint their board.  In the future I hope to get some vinyl lettering of their name to put on it, but for now the colors will have to do.  They really enjoyed painting the boards.

In the back of their book they have pages for you to copy and put up to help.  I decided to put them up, as a reminder for the adults and babysitters mostly. 

 We are now in step one.  So I put up the way to use tickets, (for our family 1 ticket gets 1/2 hour of an approved PBS TV show, 2 tickets can get 1/2 hour of the Wii, or 1 hour of a movie.)  how to lose tickets; and the Best Behavior characteristic we are working on (honesty right now).

So each child has a their chores on a peg, they see the chore that needs to be done, do it, and turn the chore over to see the next.  This has been such a good reminder for Handsome and Gorgeous.  Then if the chores are done by a specific time, they earn a ticket.

This has saved me so much time reminding, nagging, and threatening to take away privileges, to get chores done.

So far so good. On a scale of 1-5 I give it a 3.7, mostly because I figure to get the top score you have to be PERFECT, and I need more experience with it.  I'll give it a new score each time I blog about it.  I plan to blog about this as we go through the steps and let you REALLY know how it works and ways we have adapted it for our family of young children.

If you are interested check out their website here.